ليلة الدخلة

Hi bloggie baby…..imwahhhhhh


Ok, from the title, some of you out there will wanna find out what I'm talking about. I know this is kind of a sensitive subject to discuss, but I've always wanted to post about it due to the fact that I've always wondered & needed to know what others think about this.

Now….what kills me is this:

Why is it that any girl who gets divorced or separated from her husband, the first question that pops in people's minds is: "Dikhal 3alaiha?"

For God's sake, what is that?? Walla never in my life I have asked this question when I hear bad news like this, only at the end, and sometimes I don't even ask cuz I was never raised to ask such a question nor even crossing my mind to think of such a matter only a few years now and that’s because I've started to hear people talk about it & make such a big deal about it. I'm like this maybe cuz I've been living with guys, cuz I'm the only female at home after my mom passed away. I have been told lots of times despite my femininity, that I think like men, ma3 ini 7ail passionate about life and my heart pounds hard towards some certain stuff and I'm one tear away from an emotional situation or an emotional story I hear, not to mention crying when listening to songs and from romantic movies. But when I'm serious, I think clearly and straight forward.

Mind you that the Bedouin don’t have this problem cuz they don't practice this tradition cuz the man doesn’t see his wife during the "Milchah" days, till their wedding night, so this is related to other people in Kuwait and some other countries in the gulf.

What bothers me is that, what the hell is the big deal with whether they did it or not?
I mean he is already her husband, and they are already do ALMOST EVERYTHING together, but nooooooooooooooo…people are obsessed with the girl loosing her virginity.
What about the girl's feelings and the hurt and problems the couple went through?

People here and around our region are soooooooooooooooo obsessed with "marital sex". And what I mean by this is the mother of the bride constantly warns her daughter not to give in to her "brand new" husband and looses her virginity, although they are officially married, which is known as "milchah", & by that, the woman is her husband's "halal", and they go out together, and he/she sneak the significant other in his/her bedroom (especially when everybody sleeps the afternoon nap or when the house is empty), but the woman wears a metal panty shield with the key hidden somewhere until the wedding night.
Some mothers just focus on this instead of teaching their daughters about the necessities of a happy marriage, this is so happening everyday…all the time.

I personally know a lot of people that lost their virginity during the "milchah" days, and I know….I know, you're gonna say cuz they have to know each other well and all that fancy shmancy talk….I know all that, and I agree with the mothers cuz of JERKS that don’t marry women in this situation, even if she's been married to the guy for a few months….but there have been exceptions and this is naseeb.

But I mean they forget everything and get obsessed with not doing this one particular thingy and RIGHT AFTER the wedding party….they want them to hit homerun!!!
Uh HELLOOOOO?!
Walla I know a lot of people that ask the newlyweds the morning after if they did it, and the newlyweds respond that they were tired, so both their families especially the mothers wait till after a few days…and if nothing happened they bad mouth the groom about not being a man!!!! Sheeeesh!
Believe me there are families that are not Bedouin that practice this, cuz you know that this is a big deal to the Bedouins, with all due respect to the Bedouins, but I know this for a fact cuz of my lot of Bedouin friends, but other people from different backgrounds do this despite they are already letting them go out together….I don't get it.

I hope you guys understood what I meant about being obsessed with the sex stuff….specifically hitting homerun the next day immediately after the wedding party or going just to a hotel "sakaty" as we say; when just few days or weeks before, the mothers forbidden it.

So what if they did it after one month?? Kaifhoom!! Or during the milchah? Also kaifhoom…!! Maybe they know that this is the person they wanna be with forever and that’s it….it's final….so just a few days or weeks till the wedding won't hurt, hell there have been a few pregnant brides during the wedding night (which doesn’t show of course)….bas kaifhooooooooooooom….sorry people, but to me it's not the virginity, it's the quality of the sex.

I swear my friend didn’t do a party and went straight to Egypt for the honeymoon, and is a chicken when her husband comes near that delicate area, and his mother called them everyday for the 10 days they spent there asking him if he did it, till he got angry and told her:" I'm a man and man enough to know what I'm doing, and don’t you dare doubt my wife, there's nothing wrong with her, (he means that she's a virgin)."
And her husband was so sweet and told her that they don’t have to do it right away just because they are on their honeymoon, so whenever she was ready…

So the last day he cut her finger just a little & stained a tissue with her blood like those movies and said: "This will shut my mom up, I know…that’s all she wants to see."
It took my friend another 12 days till she became ready and now they have a 7 year old girl.

In the end I thank God my family isn’t like that and don’t even ask when and whether….but frankly, if they hear a divorce story (my women relatives and friends all the women) they first ask: "Dikhal 3alaiha?"

Sheeeeeeeeesh!!!

Sorry for the long debate.