Passionate Soul

I'd give it all, I'd give for us, Give anything but I won't give up

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Molested by an Uncle

Hi bloggieeeee baby….immmwaaaaaaahhhh


Some of you out there are wondering: "What's up with Puppylove and these sensitive issues these days?"

Well, I do in fact need your help guys on this riddle, I want to help one of my best friends but it's complicated.

My friend was molested by her uncle when she was 10 years old till about 13 years old, it didn't happen very often, but a few times, he would wake her up at night (cuz they were all staying in their grandpa's house before everybody got married) and he would take her to his filthy room with porn videos shown on the TV, which she even mentioned to me that it was her first time to see 2 women with each other, and he only hit "second base", just kissing her and touching her body over her clothes, cuz she was so afraid and cried, so her crying made him stop.
And thank God she never saw him "finish his business" till the end.
She used to beg him not to come to her room also when the house was empty, or everybody was busy, she was so naïve thinking that she's gonna get pregnant from just kissing, he used to laugh at her….she was so disgusted….

Fortunately it stopped cuz everybody started to move from the "big house", but he still gave her some weird horny looks when seeing her at family gatherings, and that was around 1993.
After one year her uncle got married, and till this day he & his wife are struggling to have kids.
My friend says that this is a blessing from God so he won't molest his kids, bas his poor wife is such a wonderful woman, what's her punishment…maybe there isn't, and it's all God's test for patience.

Now my friend is exactly my age, she's a beautiful educated strong woman…she's not those people that you see on Oprah, that are psychos such as an alcoholic, or a drug addict or a cutter…just because she was molested.
And she's been serious with this certain guy for a year….and he is one of those good guys that adores & respects her, and loves to talk with her all day and tell each other every detail. Even his friends and I say that they are soooooooo compatible.

Now the problem is that he "of course" is not married, and lives with his brother and his wife and kids. They have 2 teenaged daughters and sons, and 2 youngsters, and she knows that he loves them and gives them gifts and money, and when they come over to his apartment, he doesn't like to say "no" to them, even if he's tired or sleepy.
The problem is that I've noticed she gets so jealous when he's with the girls, although he tells her everything, & chit chats with her about their school or their shopping trips with their mom and what they bought, and how much they beg him to get married cuz they wanna play with his kids, she just sits and complains about how long he was with them and gets mad.

So I wonder sometimes, is it cuz she was molested by her uncle, she's having bad thoughts about the person she's in love with? Or is it that ordinary jealousy that girls feel when her bf or husband gets too much attention from his girl relatives?
The catch to this riddle is that this guy has no sisters, his mother passed away, has very old aunts, and his girl cousins are all married and doesn't even see them cuz they have no family gatherings, so it's only him and his brother's little family.
So if he had sisters and his mother was alive, a person would know that she's having an average jealousy episode that most women have from the women around the significant other, or that she is just jealous from his nieces and can say that she does have a serious problem cuz she was molested.

But the problem is, he only has these 2 teenaged nieces that she's jealous from, so I don't know if it's just the nieces or relative women in general??
Get it??
I know it's confusing….

And I don't know how to help her, should I confront her, and tell her that her problem is cuz she was molested?? Not to mention that it's so difficult for me to bring this subject up.
Or I would tell her that it's ok to sometimes feel jealous from sisters, mothers, cousins and nieces…. I don’t know….

Guys what do think the problem is….can anybody help me on this one.



Thank you guys.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear what happened to your friend i get angry when i hear or read stories like that, your friend's jealousy whether she'll admit or not it's clearly the result of her molestation. Maybe in her mind she thinks to a certain degree that a relationship between uncle and nieces could happen because there are no boundaries, I'm not saying it's right but because of her past she'll come to that conclusion.

Yes i think you should discuss this issue with her since she trusted you and revealed her secret. In my personal opinion i think she should see a psychiatrist even though she seems alright what happened to her as a child scared her for life.

The sad truth is sexual abuse is so wide spread in the Arab world our laws are pathetic when it comes to rapists and pedophiles, not only that some people think talking about this topic is shameful and shouldn't be discussed they also have no consideration to the victim at all. Unlike the West punishment is very severe when it comes to hurting a child. Personally i think all pedophiles should be put to death they are not people they are monsters who feed on the innocence of children.

November 26, 2006 12:40 AM  
Blogger Puppylove said...

Thank u Reema so much for ur reply i appreciated it, the matter the fact is that this issue is a big "no no" in the arab world and i hate that....havent u noticed no one even commented on my post except u???

U've been a big help, i'll try 2 tell her when the time is right, that is when she starts 2 complain about them being with him.

but ur sure its the molestation thing not cuz she's jealous in general?

November 26, 2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger Dr.Lost said...

i think its only becoz she's jealous in general.. doubt it has anything to do with being molested.. plus she wasnt reallyyy molested, i mean its not like he use to kiss her or raped her (from what you said).. so i dunno really...

November 27, 2006 12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puppylove: Your welcome yes i do think the molestation has everything to do with her attitude.

DR Lost: With all due respect what you just said is utter nonsense, please tell me how do you define sexual abuse or molestation? from what i understood from your comment if I'm not mistaken is if a child is not raped as in intercourse then it's not considered as sexual abuse? are you for real? i hope you are joking, do you honestly think if a small child went through such a terrible incident by a relative (considered as incest) it wouldn't screw her mind at all!? i doubt that.

Honestly i wish people would take this matter very seriously, God knows how many stories i heard like this one, what's terrifying is most people i know went through this and it's always with a relative!! what kind of animals do we live with? and if the story was out they hush it as if nothing happened! yeah reality sucks big time welcome to our pathetic sick world.

p.s. Sorry for the long post or if i sounded angry, it just when it comes to children i get very emotional, sorry again.
peace.

November 27, 2006 9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its really a sad story and i`m really sorry for ur friend ... but for me i think it could be both ! not just because she molested! i knew a girl who was jealouse from 4 years old girl ,his niece also ! so 3adi

November 27, 2006 12:13 PM  
Blogger Puppylove said...

Dr. Lost
Thank u 4 ur reply, but sorry i agree with Reema, and i did mention that he kissed her and hit second base, thats touching her body (breasts & senstive areas) over the clothes, and she did say he touched her breasts and did stuff with it a few times, if u know what i mean....
And he showed her his "thingie a few times", so i think thats sexual abuse BIG TIME!!!
But i do also agree with that sometimes "we" women and some of us do get jealous from relatives when they r women specifically, and this happens cuz they "some of them" like to make the wife jealous on purpose....


Reema
Habeebty dont be sorry for the long comments, my page and space ta7at ur feet LOOOOOOL
I agree with u stroooooooooooongly, i get soooooooooooooooooo angry and feel sorry for those poor kids, its such a big "hush hush" thing and that irritates me!!!
Such a pathetic sick world here i so agree.
Thanks habeebty 4 ur concern.


Hope
A 4 yr old!!! thats crazy LOOOOOOL

November 28, 2006 10:08 AM  

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